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A letter to Microsoft customer support after fighting with the error mentioned above simply for appending a class name with jQuery. The only thing I could do was rant, because I couldn’t do anything else. This all just flowed right off of my fingers to the keyboard with virtually no effort at all. I hate MS. I really do. And they don’t care. Enjoy, sorry if parts are too offensive. It made me laugh after I read it back..

Hi,

I’m a web developer, and I want to thank you for wasting my time. The only thing I can do right now is rant, because you make my job miserable. Fuck you, and your stupid non-working piece of worthless shit fuck browser called internet explorer. Do you even realize how big of a piece of shit it is? Ballmer do you realize that you are a fat bald sweaty piece of monkey shit? Really, I don’t mean to take a stab at you personally, but seriously, I hope you feel great about the way people feel about your company’s products every day. There are countless websites on why people should not use IE, why web developers, who are doing really cutting edge and amazing things for really grand user experiences on the web, really fucking hate IE and Microsoft’s lazy ass approach to fixing bugs. Invalid argument, Invalid argument, invalid fucking argument after another, and no decent debugging tools out there, I hate you.

Why don’t you use Apple’s webkit, or talk to Mozilla, and team up with a company that makes a browser that supports standards, and actually fucking works. Not tomorrow, or ten years from now, that shit should have been done yesterday. Jump on it right now, make some damn phone calls you lazy shits! But please, if you do, make the news of such a decision public on a Friday, because everyone in my line of work will celebrate their asses off when we catch wind of the decision. Probably more celebratory alcohol among programmers in my industry will be consumed at that moment than any other time in history, and shit isn’t going to get done for a few days. So instead of contributing our unproductively, say, during the middle of the week (because we already are quite unproductive due to your shitty debugging vague bullshit), please make such an announcement public on a Friday.

Or here is an idea, why don’t you just let IE die, focus on making your other shitty products, and leave the web alone. Too many people use the internet, it is always bad business to piss off the internet, take a look at Scientology. Here are some examples of why you, and IE, suck: the font smoothing looks like shit, it doesn’t have a correct box model, it plainly, to put it gently, is complete shit, smelly waste bowel excrement. If I went out and bought a car, and the paint was all rough looking and shitty compared to every other vehicle, I would think, that it was a pretty shitty decision to buy that car, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. This is what many many people are doing with IE. If that is the goal, then why not just kill it? You are essentially killing it anyway. Shit decomposes, that’s what it does best, actually. I mean, when my dog shits in my back yard, I give it a week, and its gone. Pretty quick.

If I have to debug another fucking stupid invalid argument error in IE. I’m going to lose my fucking mind. Fuck you. Fuck you, you fucking worthless waste of time IE developer fucks. I fucking hate you. I hate your company, we would all be better off without your worthless fucking products. Piss off and suck a dick.

From: http://firsttube.com/read/Internet-Explorer-Sucks/

Well the Stroop test spot lasted about 2mins with the presenters glossing over  the history and context of the Stroop test and went with the tried and trusted method of letting some “celebrity” (this word is used very loosely) make a quick 2minute comment/attempt and moving on. I understand that you have 1 hour to cram a lot in but I would rather the presenters spend 3 mins on this spot than 10-15 interviewing some celebrity (again world used loosely) that has the mental age of a 13 year old from Eastbourne.  So I took it upon myself to do some research on the internet which had lots of information about this – Its seems that your brain finds it very hard to differentiate from doing two tasks or interpreting two different types of information at once – similar to the old touch your head and rub your belly party trick. If a number or letter is presented to such an individual in a color other than what they would perceive your brain has a delay in determining what color the character actually is, this delay can be measured to determine your current mental state. The cognitive mechanism involved in this task is called directed attention, you have to manage your attention, inhibit or stop one response in order to say or do something else.

In psychology, the Stroop effect is a demonstration of the reaction time of a task. When a word such as blue, green, red, etc. is printed in a color differing from the color expressed by the word’s semantic meaning (e.g. the word “red” printed in blue ink), naming the color of the word takes longer and is more prone to errors than when the meaning of the word is congruent with its ink color. The effect is named after John Ridley Stroop who first published the effect in English in 1935. This has been used to investigate aspects of such varied psychological disorders as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Schizophrenia, and Anorexia.

Now what does this actually mean, then take a long at the image below and first read out what you see. Then try and say the actual colours you see –

I found this very interesting so I thought I would drop this down.

On a totally different note I read a interesting story about a 13 year old child who has got a 15/16 year old girl pregnant in Eastbourne. In the boys defense he wants to be a good dad and is planning on supporting his new son and his girlfriend. Now I don’t know what’s worse a 13 year old having sex, the media circus that has now surrounded the boy and his family Or the pedophile 16 year old that couldn’t find someone her own age and opted for a 13 year old who I am guessing was a easy target – however in the kids defense he knocks it out the park first time he’s up to bat. Do you know this kid if so please show him what a condom is.

Two post in on week I must be on a role…

snow man fun...

The last week of Jan and first week of February in London to me has always been and probably always will be the coldest time of the year and also the time of the year with the most freakish/random/WTF weather you will ever see – This year did not disappoint, we had the heaviest snow storm that has been seen in London in over a decade and to be predicted my little city that prides themselves on being prepared for all manner of man made disasters was about as prepared as a someone bringing a knife to a gun fight – London seems to be incapable of preparing for what nature might throw at it, at what seems to be the most predictable times of the year – so London grinded to a halt as no trains/tubes/buses where working meaning no one could get anywhere actually that’s a lie one pal of mine made it to work as he lives next to the only underground station that was working (he was really annoyed with this).

Normally I would be complaining about being stranded at home with nothing to do but work – but as I was stranded I decided to turn my laptop on and catch up on all the work I had to do. Well that lasted about 10mins till I realised that it was the first snow day of its kind of my adult life – what do you do when you get a blanket of 4+ inches of snow on a Monday morning? Well if you’re me you throw a thermal top and a polo shirt, hooded jumper and winter socks on and place the laptop in my bag (encase I choose to do some work) and head out into the mini blizzard to have the first snow ball fight of your adult life. There was so much snow that after an hour and a half of making and throwing snow balls the snow was still thick on the cars and floor.

And before anyone says that’s not snow – in my country we have snow to our waists (yes that’s you Julia and the random polish leady that cleans the vending machines at work). I have one comment for you – we are not in your country anymore to us if its up to our ankles that’s 4 inches too deep (in my country the only way you see snow is if you get picked for the only Caribbean bobsleigh team to go to the winter Olympics.)

To my dismay people in my company actually made it in and did work- WHY? However they did build a snow man/woman and have a snow ball fight on the 3^rd floor roof terrace (yeah that’s real safe – slippery and wet on a wooden roof terrace) but what I found really funny was a email from one of the senior member of staff stating that if you can make it into the office safely by walking, cycling or skiing please come in as we need to be fully billable in the current eco climate. yep that’s right skiing – imagine this you wake up realise its snowing and think oh let me put those skis on and go to work  as I haven’t used them since my last ski trip. Yeah that was the last mode of transport on my mind, but thank you JC for thinking outside of the box and also for making me laugh.

What I did love was this one car that tried its hardest to drive. The guy took about 10mins to move from the space. That’s dedication as I would have held out for two minutes before I gave up.

To me the first 2^nd of February will always be the day that I had a 2 hour snow ball fight and ate some of the worse food ever (thanks Cory) while getting paid for the whole days work. Also for once the weather man/women predicted the weather right.

Send through any funny snow day pictures you might have.

Enjoy your day…

I received a email from a good pal, well lets not even call him a good pal as he is more like a motivational speaker that knows when to chime in and help me get my second wind, this person is usually there 9/10 time when I need him giving the advice that needs to be told or what I really need to hear at that time.

So what did he say this time to me to write about him – well he sent over an email containing the following lines:

When minds and judgements are clouded there’s nothing you can do……. How can you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped??….. How can you find someone who doesn’t want to be found?

What I am trying to get at is its been a long year for me and maybe the same for most with relationship, friends, jobs, wealth and opportunities they have all come and gone, but that which is real is still here and in my life, so before the clock strikes midnight on the 31st I am go to take a moment and do a quick reflection on a few things – those who have bought strife to me and mine in the last 12 months I forgive you, however I wont forget so please know that I remember every good dead that has been done to me and every bad one as well. As the clock strikes midnight and a new year is ushered I will hold a drink up to those who I have surrounded myself with and hope that they all have a good year. I hope 2009 is more eventful and enriching for me and mine. To all you envious, hateful deceitful dick riders that only talk to me when it suits them I have two words for you all fuck you and come see me 2009 I will have something for you…

A wise person once said:

In The End We Only Regret The Chances We Didn’t Take. The Relationships We Were Scared To Have.
And The Decisions We Waited Too Long To Make.There Comes a Time In Your Life When You Realise Who Matters, Who Doesn’t, Who Never Did and Who Always Will.
So Don’t Worry About The People From Your Past There’s A Reason They Didn’t Make It To Your Future….

Casual relationship is a term used to describe the physical and emotional relationship between two people who may have a sexual relationship or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting a more formal relationship as a goal. It is more than just casual sex and different from a one-night stand. Related terms are “pals with privileges”, “friends with benefits”, “friends with privileges” and “sex buddies. There are significant gender and cultural differences in acceptance of and breadth of casual relationships, as well as in regrets about action/inaction in those relationships.

A casual relationship may be part time, or for a limited time, and may or may not be monogamous. The term encompasses friendships between people who enjoy each other’s physical intimacy but do not aspire to be long-term, and may or may not involve parties who desire temporary relationships purely for hedonistic purposes. In each case, the relationship’s dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.

The question I must ask of you is have you ever been in the situation where you have never meet your partners friends or family? Simple if you have been dating a guy for ‘x’ amount of time and you have never met any of his close friends or family then hey you’re a friend with benefits. Pretty simple and its like being in the friends zone one your there you will never get out of it.

A booty call is not always restricted to a 3am telephone call, it can also encompass other forms of communication, or visitation made with the sole intent of engaging in sex or other forms of sexual release with the person being contacted. Traditionally this social practice, especially the term booty call, is associated with a person calling another person for a sexual encounter after having already established either a casual or more serious relationship involving sexual relations. Let me give you a scenario it’s 3 a.m., you’re horny as hell and you cant be bothered to jump on empflix for the cyber interaction but crave more the human kind however the last thing you want to have to do is impress someone. In this situation, sex can literally be just a phone call away — you don’t have to go through the whole charade of flirting, dating, buying her drinks, testing the waters or guessing what she wants from the situation.

So what do you do if you have just made a booty call however you are not single and your other half has or is about to catch you – Getting caught lying will surely earn you four slashed tires and a drained bank account and all your clothes cut up in garbage bags. If you are about to get caught you have a split second to make a decision either fess up and tell the truth or go AWOL until the heat has died down? I’ve know a few guys in my time that have gone on the run after being caught that the US army would be able to find Bin laden and some WMD’s quicker than they could find this guy trying to run from his other half.

If you must lie, learn the fine art from some of the most high profile people in the game and how they pulled it all off.

Mike Tyson would be one of the most famous people that have been caught out with a booty call/ friends with benefit; he was accused of rape after a female fan turned up at his hotel at 3 in the morning. She claimed she wanted to see where the champ was staying and hangout, at which point he got aggressive and raped her! I for one think that rapist and pedo’s need to be put in a dark hole and never released – however this will be the one time you hear me say this women is a lying little SOB. If you come to my hotel/house at 3am in the morning there is only one thing on yours and my mind and it aint hanging out – if that’s what you want come back between the hours of 10am-6pm. I am not saying the girl asked to be raped, she just put herself in a situation which was not called for. Kobe Bryant got caught out as well – however when his wife found out he was for it, so he pulled out the big guns and I mean big; to the extent she issues a statement saying how much she forgave him:

saying her beloved husband “has made a mistake — the mistake of adultery… I know that he did not commit a crime, he did not assault anyone. He is a loving and kind husband and father. I believe in his innocence.” A very sweet and very supportive statement from a loving wife. Wearing the $4 million, eight carat, purple diamond ring she just received from her adulterous husband.

So what have you learnt from this post, well you learnt that I write anything that comes to my head which after two month of hiatus it was pretty disappointing however I promise to write a better post next time.

Oh and the other thing you can take from this is that in this modern word there is nothing wrong with having a friend with benefit or being one however as long as you can spot the signs it might help you from getting hurt in the long run saving you both time and heartache. If you are going to indulge in some primal activates and satisfy your urges then make sure you do it with a totally willing party. And if you are going to get caught make sure you have a survival bag packed and ready to go.

Bye for now…

“A comic says funny things; a comedian says things funny,” which draws a distinction between how much of the comedy can be attributed to verbal content and how much to acting and persona.

Today’s post is about discovering new talent and how to spot the next big thing before they are big and become commercial.

My first offering is Jason Lewis -

Jason Lewis is an American actor and former fashion model. He appeared on the May 2008 cover of Men’s Fitness.

Oh wait that’s not the correct Jason Lewis the one I am talking about is the one I am talking about is Jason Lewis the British Actor, writer and comedian. Now I don’t or have ever met this guy but a good friend has told me that she thinks he is going to be big and someone to watch out for.

As I don’t know him and can’t find any information on his personal website I had to go a little old school and rip information from his MySpace page. Well who’s best to introduce him but himself so here’s what he wrote:

Fearless delivery, Unpredictable material, Stand Up comedy with an edge, Handled with maturity beyond his years, this is Jason Lewis. Taking the comedy world by storm just last year, Jason Lewis has had audiences laughing in their seats throughout 2006. This young man is both versatile and distinctive and has captured the attention and imagination of his audiences. In just a short time this young man has managed to establish an underground buzz which will begin to overflow onto the mainstream very soon. This young British born Trinidadian uses comedy to educate audiences and break through stereotypes and racial barriers. As well as Stand Up comedy this multi talented performer, is a trained actor establishing his craft at the infamous Anner Scher Theatre, An ambitious scriptwriter who has written, directed and starred in his own Award winning one man theatre show ‘BlackOrama: the beginning’. In just a short space of time Jason has performed at a number of venues including the very popular Comedy Fun House hosted by multi Award winning comedian Kojo. If last year was anything to go by its safe to say that 2007 will be a successful year for this young man who is being tipped by industry insiders to be one to watch out for. Watch this space as this dynamic comedian’s talent blossoms germinates and grows throughout this year.

Take a look at his spoof music video -

and

check out Basket mouth I have just been told that this dude is the best thing coming out of Africa since slaves:

A lie (also called prevarication) is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others, often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation, protect someone’s feelings or to avoid a punishment. Lying is typically used to refer to deceptions in oral or written communication. A white lie would cause no discord if it were uncovered and offers some benefit to the liar, the hearer, or both. White lies are often used to avoid offense, such as telling someone that you think that their new outfit looks good when you actually think that it is a horrible excuse for an outfit. In this case the lie is told to avoid the harmful implications and realistic implications of the truth.

The most commonly cited milestone in human development, is known as Machiavellian intelligence, is at the age of about four and a half years, when children begin to be able to lie convincingly. Before this, they seem simply unable to comprehend that anyone doesn’t see the same view of events that they do — and seem to assume that there is only one point of view: their own.

The capacity to lie has also been claimed to be possessed by non-humans in language studies with Great Apes. One famous case was that of Koko the gorilla; confronted by her handlers after a tantrum in which she had torn a steel sink out of its moorings, she signed in American Sign Language, “cat did it,” pointing at her tiny kitten. It is unclear if this was a joke or a genuine attempt at blaming her tiny pet.

As men I think we are predisposed to lie I honestly think its embedded in our DNA somewhere, A man who says he has never told a lie has just told one. Lies are like the body’s self defence mechanism which has a button (that reads something along the lines of – in case of emergency pull switch) which provides men with the all to common evasive behaviour and random generated lie when cornered, next to this switch there is a huge red abort button, which makes us tell the truth as we think about the consequences of our actions! In a split second a man has to make a decision of titanic proportions; either tell the truth and get in trouble now or lie and try and get away with it or face the consequences at a later date. I think Neo in the matrix had an easier decision between the blue or red pill. Now which button do you think is used most?

Now I am not advocating that you should ever tell a lie, white or black but being creative with the truth can save your ass until you get caught then you are screwed! I think that some men should be held accountable for the stupid lies that we tell to protect someone we care about, or ourselves as it’s usually about saving our asses after we have messed up!

Before you ask have I ever told a lie in the past? Have I ever been caught out with a lie? Let me just say any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. That does not mean I am condoning lying, I am just saying not everyone can lie. After all, what is a lie? But the truth in masquerade.

Let me give you a scenario;

You tell a white lie to protect someone in your life and to protect yourself! Then the person you are lying to digs under the surface and picks up on the truth then your screwed as women hate nothing more than a lie! Actually that’s a lie they hate cheating, however don’t cheat and lie cause then you are screwed! And you’re on your own; no amount of advice is going to save your skin – undoubtedly unleashing “the fury for which hell hath no” on any man who breaks both the rules.

There have been some famous lies in the past that initially was covered up; however once the surface was scratched the truth came out and opened up a whole can of worms! famous lies in the past

1. Bill Clinton

What Bill did: Took the term “Executive Privilege” to new heights by receiving blow jobs from chunky White House intern Monica Lewinsky, while serving as President of the United States and Leader of the Free World. Which he promptly lied about. Then causing the entire world to be creped-out when the details were finally released. Not a very smooth move by Mr. Bill. He lied to Hillary also at first, then the morning he had to testify he confessed the whole thing, making her realize that she’d been sticking up for a liar. Publicly. Big, global story. Unimaginable public humiliation for Hillary. But did she leave him? Nope.

Why Hillary forgave him: In her 2003 memoir, she would attribute her decision to stay married to love: “No one understands me better and no one can make me laugh the way Bill does. Even after all these years, he is still the most interesting, energizing and fully alive person I have ever met.”
My opinion: If I was the president I would never have got caught – Monica who? I would make it so that she never existed… on but I think Hilary got to use Air force 1 and marine 1 and America’s (not Bill’s) Black American Express card on a weekend bender in Jamaica… Hilary got her groove back!

2. Kobe Bryant
What Kobe did: “Sexually assaulted” (more like “hooked-up with” if you ask me), 19 year-old Katelyn Faber, an employee of the Colorado hotel where he was staying. After accusing Bryant of sexual assault, Faber later refused to testify and all charges were dropped. Big national story, press conference confession of adultery by Kobe, lots of public humiliation for his wife Vanessa. Deep shit, right? Wrong!

Why Vanessa forgave him: Mrs. Bryant issued a statement saying her beloved husband “has made a mistake — the mistake of adultery… I know that he did not commit a crime, he did not assault anyone. He is a loving and kind husband and father. I believe in his innocence.” A very sweet and very supportive statement from a loving wife. Wearing the $4 million, eight carat, purple diamond ring she just received from her adulterous husband.

Kobe’s Secret: Knowing when a lady can be bought. And having the millions to do it.

My Opinion: If you mess up make sure you have enough money to buy your ass out of trouble. And that 4million ring is so much cheaper than the divorce settlement she was going to take from him – who says sports stars are stupid.

Update: Kobe got caught cheating with a 19year old LA lakers cheerleader – what’s he going to buy this time.

So men/women, yes women lie just as bad as men, on top of the verbal lies they tell they also tell physical lies the only difference is that they just control the deck of card in the game we play and unless you are willing to go to another dealer you better respect the house and play the honest game!

Well if you have read this far then thank you very much as I think I lost myself half way through that – I am getting a tad bit bored of reading my words so I will summarise and sign out.

It’s simple don’t lie or cheat you will get caught and you will suffer the consequences, think about the other persons feelings and think to yourself how would I feel if this was done to be – as you will breaking somebody’s trust and probably ruin there self esteem and respect for others, there is no excuse for cheating or lying – A liar will not be believed, even when he speaks the truth. Remember the story about the boy that cried wolf.

If you do cheat/lie you better make sure you have that learjet fuelled and ready on the runway or have a presidential airtight alibi (but to be honest that didn’t work for Bill so I don’t think it will work for mere mortals), if not I suggest you write your will just before you jump out the window testing Newton’s theory of gravity as trust me that would be less painful than the person you lied to catch’s up with you.

The truth will set you free…

A casual relationship may be part time, or for a limited time, and may or may not be monogamous. The term encompasses friendships between people who enjoy each other’s physical intimacy but do not aspire to be long-term, and may or may not involve parties who desire temporary relationships purely for hedonistic purposes. In each case, the relationship’s dominance in the lives of those involved is being voluntarily limited, and there is usually a sense that the relationship is intended to endure only so long as both parties wish it to.

A booty call is a telephone call, other communication, or visitation made with the sole intent of engaging in sex or other forms of sexual release with the person being contacted. Traditionally this social practice, especially the term booty call, is associated with a person calling another person for a sexual encounter after having already established either a casual or more serious relationship involving sexual relations.

Mike Tyson would be one of the most famous people that have been caught out with a booty call; he was accused of rape after a female fan turned up at his hotel at 3 in the morning. She claimed she wanted to see where the champ was staying and hangout, at which point he got aggressive and raped her! Lying little SOB. If you come to my house or hotel at 3am in the morning there is only one thing on yours and my mind and it aint hanging out – if that’s what you want come back between the hours of 10am-6pm. Kobe Bryant got caught out as well – however when his wife found out he was for it, so he pulled out the big guns and I mean big; to the extent she issues a statement saying how much she forgave him:

saying her beloved husband “has made a mistake — the mistake of adultery… I know that he did not commit a crime, he did not assault anyone. He is a loving and kind husband and father. I believe in his innocence.” A very sweet and very supportive statement from a loving wife. Wearing the $4 million, eight carat, purple diamond ring she just received from her adulterous husband.

If you read Super heads (a Video vixen who has f**ked so many men/women she makes porn stars look like saints) confessions of a video vixens book she exposes most of the R&B, Hip Hop and Rap stars at the moment. They all thought it was casual and she thought it was all about the money. I don’t understand the logic why would you go sleep with a girl that you know has slept her way through the industry. The list: http://poponthepop.com/2007/08/01/superheads-young-buck-best-i-ever-had-book-excerpts/

So now I am going to flip this a little and write something else to please stay with me on this –

So what do you do if you have just made a booty call however you are not single and your other half has or is about to catch you – do you by default become a player or do you go AWOL until the heat has died down. I know a few guys n my time that have gone one the run so bad that the US army would find bin laden quicker than they could find this person.

Getting caught cheating will surely earn you four slashed tires and a drained bank account and all your clothes cut up in garbage bags. If you must cheat, learn the fine art from some of the most high profile wandering gentlemen and how they pulled off their infidelities. Marriage – and balls – intact.

Sometimes in life, our lower halves overrides our brains and we end up sampling things we shouldn’t, and in the process hurting our better halves. And I’m not trying to imply straying is ok – I think cheating is a bad move and would undoubtedly unleash “the fury for which hell hath no” on any man who betrayed his partner.

While I’d like to tell you that getting caught cheating will surely earn you four slashed tires, possessions strewn across your front lawn, and a drained bank account, I cannot – each person circumstances are different – just note if you cheat make sure you do one of the following;

• Sleep with one eye open once you have been caught – and if you think you haven’t been caught you have, women know.
• Have a Swiss bank account in case they drain your HSBC account
• Have some clothe and stuff at your pals house as there is none for having to pop tags the morning after you got your stuff cut up.
• Have a good alibi – it wasn’t me was only funny when shaggy sung it.
• Lie, beg, borrow or steal.
• All else fails drop to your knees and PRAY to your God…

However if you are not so lucky I can show you some of the most high profile wandering gentlemen and how they pulled off their infidelities. To give hope to insomniac cheaters everywhere.

1. Bill Clinton

What Bill did: Took the term “Executive Privilege” to new heights by receiving blow jobs from chunky White House intern Monica Lewinsky, while serving as President of the United States and Leader of the Free World. Which he promptly lied about. Then causing the entire world to be creped-out when the details were finally released. Not a very smooth move by Mr. Bill. He lied to Hillary also at first, then the morning he had to testify he confessed the whole thing, making her realize that she’d been sticking up for a liar. Publicly. Big, global story. Unimaginable public humiliation for Hillary. But did she leave him? Nope.

Why Hillary forgave him: In her 2003 memoir, she would attribute her decision to stay married to love: “No one understands me better and no one can make me laugh the way Bill does. Even after all these years, he is still the most interesting, energizing and fully alive person I have ever met.”
Bill’s Secret: He cheated on someone who is more rational and better at thinking things through than he is. And loads of charisma doesn’t hurt.
My opinion: If I was the president I would never have got caught – Monica who? I would make it so that she never existed… on but I think Hilary got to use Air force 1 and marine 1 and America’s (not Bill’s) Black American Express card on a weekend bender in Jamaica…

2. Kobe Bryant
What Kobe did: “Sexually assaulted” (more like “hooked-up with” if you ask me), 19 year-old Katelyn Faber, an employee of the Colorado hotel where he was staying. After accusing Bryant of sexual assault, Faber later refused to testify and all charges were dropped. Big national story, press conference confession of adultery by Kobe, lots of public humiliation for his wife Vanessa. Deep shit, right? Wrong!

Why Vanessa forgave him: Mrs. Bryant issued a statement saying her beloved husband “has made a mistake — the mistake of adultery… I know that he did not commit a crime, he did not assault anyone. He is a loving and kind husband and father. I believe in his innocence.” A very sweet and very supportive statement from a loving wife. Wearing the $4 million, eight carat, purple diamond ring she just received from her adulterous husband.
Kobe’s Secret: Knowing when a lady can be bought. And having the millions to do it.

My Opinion: If you mess up make sure you have enough money to buy your ass out of trouble. And that 4million ring is so much cheaper than the divorce settlement she was going to take from him – who says sports stars are stupid.

Update: Kobe got caught cheating with a 19year old LA lakers cheerleader – what’s he going to buy this time.

3. Ozzy Osborne

What Ozzy did: Cheated on Sharon constantly for the first four years of their marriage – including getting freaky with the nanny the night their son Jack was born. How fatherly. You’d think there would be some security in marrying someone as weird-looking as Ozzy, but… guess not!
Why Sharon forgave him: She blamed it on his drug and alcohol abuse – but not before she made him believe his cheating had earned him a case of AIDS. That’s right, she set up a hoax AIDS test to scare Mini Ozzy back into his pants forever. Forgiveness? More like reigning by terror.
Ozzy’s Secret: The old “alcohol and drugs made me do it” gambit. And then staying faithful. You don’t want to piss off a lady who would make her own husband think he’d contracted a deadly virus.

My Opinion: that’s really fucked up – I would throw someone out a window if they tried to mess with my results. That’s just not Kosher.

Right if you have read this far then thank you very much as I think I lost myself half way through that – I am getting a tad bit bored of reading my words so I will summarise and sign out.

It’s simple don’t cheat think about the other persons feelings and think how would I feel if this was done to be – as you will break some body trust and probably ruin there self esteem and respect for others, there is no excuse for cheating and just cause you know others that do it doesn’t make it right.

If you do cheat you better make sure you have that G3 on the run way fuelled up and ready to go or have a presidential airtight alibi (but to be honest that didn’t work for Bill so I don’t think it will work for mere mortals likes us), if not write your will as you test Newton’s theory of gravity as trust that would be less painful than when the horde of women catch up with you.

So I read something a little while ago that said it is always darkest before the dawn, but I also read some of the art of war which said all war is based on deception. Well I am starting to believe this is true – however even thou it is darkest before the dawn you still know it will bright when the sun comes up. All you have to do is keep your head when everyone else around you is loosing there’s.

So I have been AWOL for a few days to try and clear things up and decide on what I want to do with the next stage of my life – where have i been; that you don’t need to worry about – just that i am back. And I have also had some time to reflect on the last few posts I have written – they seem very negative and one sided so I am sorry if anyone takes them personal they are just how I feel or felt at the time. While I have been gone it seems that a lot has happened in the news. Will post properly this weekend.

Oh I read this really cool blog this week – if you know me you will know I like to use the work crack head a lot however this blog tries to let people know there is nothing wrong with a crackhouse if you make it a crackhome.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33874

Anyway I am off – need to go for a run so I am ready for the day…

I try to be extremely selective on who I allow to be my friend. I am a believer that the people you surround yourself with are direct reflections of who you are. However occasionally you there are wolves in sheep’s clothing that slip through the fence. However as long as you are aware of them you can not get bitten.

Well it seems like the lines are becoming more and more blurred with a lot of people falling into that grey area. Some people claim to be your friend and to care about you but they mess with you and treat you like your feelings and thoughts don’t matter just to make themselves feel better. I have had it with certain people lately.

You know the ones who are your friend when they need something, when they need a shoulder to cry on, a hot meal or someone to hangout and complain to with while there life goes through the motions. But the moment they are back on track and you call asking for the favour to be returned they are nowhere to be seen. They are your friend when they need to whine moan and then chose to do nothing about their current situation. They are especially your friend when they need something. This something can be a couch to sleep on, money (even thou they claim they don’t want any but dangle enough in front of them and they will snap it from you like a lion eating it’s last meal)

Well no more! Screw them all – oh and I have always known who my friends, enemies and friendemies where I just chose to play the same game you where playing! I don’t need emotional support from you I don’t need your cash or your time (those I have) I like to study human behaviour and for that I thank you for letting me understand the sort of parasite you are and that you have turned into.

Let me explain I will compile a quick list;

There is one who is like a brother to me but only treats me like one when his ‘wife’ is not around then I am like the village whore that no one claims to know but when its dark all want to be with. Few weeks back I saw this person for their true colours and I have actively tried to keep it strictly Kosher between me and them and keep everything above the line. However when you send me texts asking for advice or asking to hangout I know why; I am not stupid it cause your ‘wife’ is doing something and you need someone to hang with – so be a man and say it how it is. Then there is the one that’s so obsessed with the partner that you can’t get a hold of them when they are together however when her partner is with his friends my phone is constantly ringing – why! I know why you are calling and don’t treat me like I am your patsy or your substitute everyone knows that they only get a call from you when he is busy. Then there was my pal that fell for the girl even thou everyone told him not to get involved– he liked her and even thou she had a past he thought as long as he was genuine and honest and was himself then she would realise we wasn’t like all the other guys that just wanted to sleep with her. What he didn’t factor in was that the ex would come back on the scene – now this ex is back he is calling asking me for advice and making silly gestures that he thinks are going to help- eer No! it doesn’t help that the object of his attention is confused about her feelings she likes the new guy (ish) but loves the old guy – now who you think is going to win and loose in this situation? You guessed it!

Oh then there is the one who just loves to have a shoulder to cry on well not a shoulder and not really to cry but you get the point – everything was above board and this person switched the script now the present/past is knocking at the door and someone has been pushed out in the cold like the family dog when guest come round with allergies, when they leave the dog is right back in the warmth until next time. This is the worst time of friend – actually I think we need a whole different name for them…

I am so tired – so incredibly tired of users and losers. To all the users leave me the hell alone. If you don’t want to quit your other half that is clearly not right for you then pulling me down with you and then deciding to jump ship when I am trying to help then I don’t need you or your shit. If you don’t want to face the fact that stuff in your life is screwed up and you are running away instead of dealing with it- just remember when the lights go out and it’s just you and the voices in your head no amount of running will help you get away from it all.

Of course then there are the assholes that don’t leave messages and ring your phone once so you can call them back and they get mad when I don’t return their calls. Well they can suck my dick- Seriously leave a message and I will get back to you. If you are a user who wants to suck my blood for what I do for you and how you feel when you are around me then I have a cross and holy water and a huge stake.

Money and time don’t matter to me if you’re a friend I will move the earth to make you happy but don’t try and play me as I will move the earth to get you back – my bite is far worse then my bark….

Don’t take anything above personally its just the way I am feeling at the moment, it aint about you it’s what my mind manifest as information-

With friends like those who needs enemies…