Ta1no’s Weblog

So far this week I have put up a lot of things about ghetto people on the blog. Today I decided to put something up about the UK equivelant. Well we don’t have Ghettos over here like they do in the US, however I did come across something on my internet travels – it was document about Chavs and I thought why not put it up for all to see.

What I originally found was a comparison between Swedish Clubs and UK clubs (north of England to be precise).

Take a look below – if you had a choice between clubbing in the UK or Sweden which would you choose. I know which one I would go for!

Read the rest of this entry »

Today’s I am going to post two blogs the first is going to be a spill over from yesterdays ghetto wedding to the all important prom. Where I am from we don’t have prom and looking at a few of the pictures I have seen, I am glad we don’t.

Oh and if the pictures below don’t shock you enough click on the link below and check out the following site: http://www.thatssoghetto.com/queen3.htm

Oh and I found this page on the internet that helps you realise if you are ghetto or not:

THE BATTERIES IN YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ARE HELD IN PLACE WITH A PIECE OF TAPE.
SOMETHING SMELLS SPOILED IN THE REFRIGERATOR, AND ALL YOU DO IS CHANGE THE BOX OF ARM & HAMMER BAKING SODA.
YOUR DRINKING GLASSES USED TO BE JELLY JARS.
YOUR FURNITURE IS COVERED IN PLASTIC.
YOU RUN TO GET POTS AS SOON AS IT RAINS.
THE ROACHES IN YOUR HOUSE ONLY COME OUT WHEN COMPANY COMES.
YOU STILL REFER TO YOUR STEREO AS THE HI-FI.
YOU REFER TO YOUR DRESSER AS “THE BUREAU.”
YOU REFER TO THE REFRIGERATOR AS AN ICEBOX.
THE BACK OF YOUR TOILET SEAT IS ALWAYS OFF, AND YOU KNOW HOW TO MANUALLY FLUSH IT.
YOU HAVE MORE THAN TEN USES FOR VASELINE, AND ONE OF THEM IS SHOE POLISH.
YOU DON’T THINK YOU’RE CLEAN UNLESS THERE IS VISIBLE BABY POWDER ON YOUR NECK AND CHEST, AND YOU AIN’T EVEN NO BABY.
THE HEELS OF YOUR FEET LOOK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN KICKING FLOUR.
YOUR COLLAR IS STILL UP.
YOU USE BLACK EYE LINER TO LINE YOUR LIPS.
YOUR LIPSTICK MATCHES YOUR CLOTHES.
YOU HAVE ROLLS IN THE BACK OF YOUR NECK.
YOU WEAR YOUR SHOWER CAP EVERYWHERE BUT IN THE SHOWER.
YOU DRY-CLEAN YOUR WASHABLE CLOTHING (E.G., JEANS, T-SHIRTS, BASEBALL JERSEY, ETC.).
YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO THE DENTIST.
YOU CLEAN YOUR TEETH WITH A MATCHBOOK OR BUSINESS CARD.
YOU CLEAN YOUR EARS WITH A BOBBY PIN, KEY, OR INK PEN CAP.
YOU WEAR YOUR CLOTHES WITH A TAG ON THEM.
THE ONLY ART YOU OWN IS ON YOUR FINGERNAILS.
YOU GO TO THE BEAUTY SHOP FOR A PRESS AND CURL.
YOU’VE EVER WAITED SEVERAL HOURS IN A SALON TO GET YOUR HAIR DONE AND YOU HAD AN APPOINTMENT.
YOUR DAUGHTER IS UNDER SIXTEEN AND HAS EXTENSIONS.
YOU PERM YOUR THREE-YEAR-OLD’S HAIR.
YOU HAVE TO PUT A TOWEL ON YOUR FURNITURE SO THAT YOUR CURL ACTIVATOR WON’T STAIN IT.
YOU STILL THINK THERE’S SUCH A THING AS “GOOD” OR “BAD” HAIR. (NOTE: IT’S NOT THE HAIR, IT’S THE BRAIN UNDER IT)
YOU NEVER LEARNED TO SWIM BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T GET YOUR HAIR WET.
YOUR CHILD THINKS HIS REAL NAME IS LITTLE MAN.
YOU CHANGED YOUR FIRST NAME ‘CAUSE YOU SAID IT WAS THE WHITE MAN’S, BUT KEPT YOUR LAST NAME YOUR REAL SLAVE NAME.
YOU HAVE TROUBLE SPELLING YOUR CHILDREN’S NAMES, AND YOU NAMED THEM.
YOU PAGE YOURSELF.
YOU’RE LATE FOR EVERYTHING, AND YOU TRY TO ACT LIKE IT’S A CULTURAL EXPRESSION.
YOUR MOTHER CLEANED FLOORS TO EDUCATE YOU, AND NOW YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE BETTER THAN HER.
YOU WEAR FLIP-FLOPS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.
YOU’RE KNOWN FOR ROLLING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: YOUR NECK, YOUR EYES, YOUR R’S, OR YOUR WRIST.
YOU ADD “ED” OR “T” TO THE END OF A WORD THAT’S ALREADY IN THE PAST TENSE (E.G., TOOKED, LIGHT-SKINNEDED, KILT, RUINT).
THE PERSON YOU’RE SPEAKING TO DOESN’T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH AND YOU JUST TALK LOUDER.
YOU TALK LOUD ON THE PHONE BECAUSE IT’S LONG DISTANCE.
YOU’VE EVER REFERRED TO ANYTHING AS ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: DO-HICKEY, THING-A-MA-JIG, WHOSEYWHATS, WHATCHAMACALLIT.

Dont take offence but this was something that i was sent, so i just had to put it up.

And i also got this sent to me so i thought i would add it to the bottom, Enjoy!…

I know I have been a little slack in updating this blog over the last few days. I haven’t put up any new material or anything interesting. Sue me!! just note i am closing to snapping as my office has made me a broken man.

So here goes I will do a quick one as I am dying here.

In the news –

US factory worker in gun rampage – Police in the US state of Kentucky say a member of staff at a plant shot four people dead before killing himself. The shooting, in the city of Henderson, happened after the employee at Atlantis Plastics had an argument with a supervisor, authorities said. I am so glad we are not allowed to have guns in the UK; if we where allowed i would be doing my work from home.

Sickness bug found in tap water – More than 100,000 households in Northamptonshire are being told to boil tap water for drinking after a bug was found to have contaminated supplies. Tests found cryptosporidium in a sample from supplies to Northampton, Daventry and surrounding villages. And they say tap water is safer than bottled water.

Three-time World Cup winner Pele has been the victim of a robbery. The soccer legend was held up at gunpoint! When Pele’s chauffeur-driven car became stuck in a traffic jam in Guaruja, the gang proceeded to rob him of his cell phone, a gold necklace, and an expensive watch.

JOBLESS grandad Glyn Trowbridge and his runaway schoolgirl lover emerged from hiding last night to declare: “We are in love—and we ARE going to get married.” Gap-toothed Trowbridge, 45, and pretty 16-year-old Lisa Wright disappeared together as details of their bizarre relationship hit the headlines, sickening every parent in Britain. You can’t make this crap up seriously!

Music news –

Foxy brown and Rick Ross are engaged. What the hell! I honestly can not see this lasting.

DMX was busted by police in Miami yesterday. Miami-Dade Police say the rapper was picked up about 1:30 p.m. Monday on an arrest warrant for having no valid driver’s license. That’s it, no drugs or guns I am seriously disappointed. Is this even news?

Sylvester Stallone is going to become the first major ‘Hollywood’ actor to star in a Bollywood movie. Incredible Love will be the first Indian production to be shot at Hollywood’s Universal Studios. It’s budget is set at $22 million – the highest in Bollywood history! – I wonder if I can officially say that he has sunk to rock bottom.

Grinding my gears – well last week was all about crap adverts and I think I got my point across. This week I think it should be about crap films, but as I don’t have time, I am not going to do this just right now. But I will put one more advert up. The Heinz mayo advert – After only running for one week of a four week campaign this advert has been pulled due to negative comments by viewers about the appropriateness of the advert and the one screen kiss. I understand the concept of the advert and I don’t think it’s that bad, well at least not worth the amount of complaints it’s got.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjI-qh37xf0

The list – Restaurants that serve little to no vegetarian options. Yep as I am still a veggie for the next week I have decided to speak out about the crap that is annoying me. so I went out to grab a light lunch the other day and wanted something light like a salad but not just a few green leaves and a tomatoes swimming in some olive oil. But after going to 6 places to look at there menu’s I was so disappointed I opted for some Spanish tapas which was appalling. I am not sure if the cook or owner had ever been to Spain – but the Spanish tapas was about as authentic as me eating a taco in the east midlands and saying this is what Mexico must be like. Come on restaurants up your veggie options.

Anyway I am offski but I will let you have this little snippit before I go.

So to the opening message of this blog, I would like to say I have hit the 300 page views mark, thank you all. Also I am very much looking forward to seeing Hancock, the new Will Smith movie. Take a look at the extended trailer and let me know what you think. I for one will be going to see this in the cinema – to do this film justice I think it needs to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sV6Dy8S9o8

In the news – Sixth human foot found in Canada. Another human foot encased in a running shoe has been found on the shores of British Columbia in Canada, the second this week and the sixth within a year. What is with people, just cause they only let you try on the right shoe at the shop doesn’t mean you have to steal one shoe and cut your foot off so it doesn’t look odd.

The row over genetically modified crops has been reignited after the Government said they could help address the global food crisis. Green groups have accused the biotech industry of “abusing the misery of millions of hungry people” by trying to promote its products as a solution to rising food prices. Poor and hungry people can not be picky. I don’t think hungry people care if its GM or Organic they just want food so that they can eat.

Go Green Quickly With An Electric Scooter. Now commuters will have another option; the electric Scoota. The benefits are obvious. A few hours charge returns 40 miles. It’s pretty nippy too: around 30 mph. Based on £1.19 a litre there’s certainly a big difference on running costs. A 125cc petrol scooter travelling 20 miles a day will cost about £750 a year. A small car over the same distance will set you back £1012. Apart from it being an electric scooter and it rains in London a lot I think it might actually work – Gwhiz cars can eat my dust. Now where to plug the charger in.

In other news –

According to a new report, Federal prosecutors also want Wesley Snipes to pay what it cost to convict him. The Feds have reportedly sent a “cost of prosecution” bill to the judge in the case.

His attorneys object to many of the prosecution fees the government is seeking. Here’s what appears on the ‘bill’:

$193,716.98 for scanning, printing and numbering documents

$21,052.19 for witnesses (prosecutors want to be reimbursed for the time and travel expenses of 13 witnesses)

$2,456.40 for transcripts (prosecutors say the daily trial transcripts were necessary for the government to be “on an equal footing” with the defence, which had ordered them).

$138.18 for making certified colour copies of trial exhibits

In music news – Rapper Young Jeezy, aka Jay Jenkins, was just pulled over The rapper has been charged with a long list of offenses which include DUI, reckless driving, speeding, possession of an open container, no tag, no decal, and no proof of insurance. Thankfully no drugs were found in the car. Did they look hard enough?

Grinding my gears today – I am going to put loan company’s and in particular Picture the loan.

Wife – “Who are you talking too”?
Husband – “Mike, at Picture. He’s helping us to reduce our loan.

In reality he is making small talk while he pulls my pants down and shafts me with a massive loan that’ll end up costing us about 15 grand more in interest”. Never mind picture the loan, more like picture your house being repossessed cause you can’t afford it in the first place!
Its no wonder the people in this country are digging themselves further and further into a financial mess! Its almost “cool” to have a massive debt hanging around your neck, and these pathetic attempts at mental bullying, doesn’t make things any better. That and the advert is a pile of crap. Watch the video below its intresting and a good take on adverts.

So that’s it folks for another weekday, and thanks to a request from R I have found some words of wisdom from Peter Griffin. If you don’t know about Family guy then Peter Griffin is the dad from family guy.

p.s They are giving away free ice cream (mr whippy style) outside my work all you have to do is listen to a quick demo about blackberry. apart form our office and the London Asian contingency the only other people in brick lane are skinny-jean wearing androgynous looking anti-capitalist pro-environmental man bag porting anaemic parent-hating teenagers need, or would even use a crackberry, unless it was to smash it an uninformed ‘statement’ against, like, McDonalds for, like, totally  killing dolphins / cutting down rainforests / carbon foot printing…

Watch the video at the bottom – its a classic but still funny…

Lois: I just wish my opinion mattered to you.
Peter: Well, the important thing is, it matters to you, and that’s the greatest gift of all.

Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can’t swim!
Peter: Oh, he’s not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he’s a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn’t mean he can’t hear. Kick Joe, kick!

Peter (after Lois tells him he’s childish): “If I’m a child that means you’re a pedophile, and I’ll be damned if i’m going stand here and take this from a pervert.”

Peter: Ok, here’s another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That’s not a riddle. That’s … that’s just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!

Chris: Dad, what’s the blow-hole for?
Peter: I’ll tell you what it’s not for, son. And when I do, you’ll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Peter: I’d like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in.

Peter: Just don’t forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.

Peter: You know those Germans; if you don’t join the party, they come get you.

Peter: [writing letter] Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

Peter: Lois, you’ve got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I’m talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.

Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?
Peter: Um, if by “read” you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes.

Peter: I’m gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter’s in the fridge!

Peter: Lois may be worth a million bucks to you, but to me she’s worthless

Peter: Hey, what are you doing here?
Superman: I killed a hooker. She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so I ripped her in half like a phonebook.

Peter Griffin: The deep south? Isn’t that the place where the black guys are really lazy and all the white guys are just as lazy but they’re mad at the black guys for being so lazy?

Peter: We love the Bible in this house.
Francis Griffin: Really. What’s your favorite book of the Bible?
Peter: Uhhhhh… the book where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece and the man in the yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.

Peter: Man, some trip this turned out to be. All we caught is a tire, a boot, a tin can and this book of clichés.

Brian: Seriously, who buys a novelty fire extinguisher?
Peter Griffin: I’ll tell you who: someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his entire family into serious danger, that’s who.

Lois: Peter! You’re bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter: Aw, c’mon Lois, isn’t ‘bribe’ just another word for ‘love’?

Lois: Peter, there’s a hooker on the bed!
Hooker: Hi.
Peter: Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.
[Pause]
Hooker: Where’d you go?

Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines…
Peter: Oh god, I hope you’re not pregnant, we can’t afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley…
Brian: Peter those aren’t your kids, that’s the Nick-at-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda…
Brian: That’s Street Fighter.
Peter: Red, blue, green…
Brian: Those are colours.

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, ‘Oooooo.’
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Chris: Dad, can you help me with my math homework?
Peter: Math. Math my dear boy is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.

Peter Kay One Liners

1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said ‘Thyroid problem?’

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

3) I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don’t get on with my real ladder.

5) I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass.

7) Motorists

8) are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

9) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.

10) But one

11) day I turned to my bullies and said ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! >From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

12) My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

13) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

14) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

15) If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

16) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

17) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither

18) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don’t understand, such as working for a living.

19) I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

20) Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before

PETER KAY’S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

21) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

22) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

23) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

24) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

25) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

26) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

27) You never know where to look when eating a b ana na.

28) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

29) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

30) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

31) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

32) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

33) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

34) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.

35) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

36) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

37) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY

38) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

39) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

40) Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

41) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?

42) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

43) Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

44) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

45) Why does mineral water that ‘has trickled through mountains for centuries’

46) have a ‘use by’ date?

47) 9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

48) 10) Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

49) 11) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out’?

50) 12) What do people in China call their good quality plates?

51) 13) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

52) 14) What do you call male ballerinas?

53) 15) Why is a person that handles your money called a ‘Broker’?

54) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

55) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

56) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure.

At last it has happened – if you don’t know what I am rambling on about then take look at the following link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7461526.stm yep that’s it some parts of the Sainsbury’s website has crashed and Sainsbury’s is having to refund everyone also giving away a £10 good will voucher. Some might feel sorry for them and say oh no that’s not nice! And how will they bounce back…

In the news – Online maps with crimes plotted on them every month are set to be introduced in England and Wales. Mr Brown also backed plans to create “community crime fighters” – people such as tenant groups given cash and training to help tackle crime. The PM was responding to a Cabinet Office report suggesting people felt “cut off” from the justice system. Really MR Brown is this the best you can come up with to tackle the issue – Really!

A British woman’s bulging wig did not fool customs agents in Norway who discovered a kilogram of cocaine glued to her head. Officers have detained the 32-year-old on suspicion of drug smuggling, authorities said. People really need to think things through. Is this is not the best way to do it…

It is known as the home of ‘the whopper’ and Burger King is hoping its latest product really lives up to its reputation. The fast-food giant has launched a £95 burger – all in the name of charity. The fine ingredients of what is called simply ’The Burger’ include wagyu beef, white truffle, pata negra ham slices, cristal onion straws, modena balsamic vinegar, lambs lettuce, pink himalayan rock salt, organic white wine and shallot infused mayonnaise in an Iranian saffron and white truffle dusted bun. Ok let me say this in English, its not real beef and anyone that has £95 to spend on a burger from burger king needs a slap. Take the cash and go to a nice restaurant and buy a real burger not something that’s been sitting on the shelf for the last 2 weeks and has chemicals in it.

Mr. Sulu (George Takei), was among those lucky first Californians in loving same-sex relationships that are enjoying their right to get married!

Music news – So I told you that Lil’ Wayne’s new album was supposed to do well, Well, it’s done BETTER than expected! The rapper’s Tha Carter III sold just over one million copies its debut week, easily making it the #1 album in America. Let’s hope he smart enough to invest his money…

Grinding my gears – Today’s advert is Thunderbirds’ Brains dancing for Drench bottled water. The puppet dances in an amazingly realistic frenzy of moves – with strings still visible. He stops for a breather and a drink, and revived goes on to even more acrobatic feats. Last year’s hit ad was Cadbury’s gorilla drumming to Phil Collins. Cadbury’s efforts to repeat the trick have not yet worked – an advert about airport baggage lorries racing unluckily coincided with the Heathrow Terminal Five mishap. I for one think this is one of the worse adverts out there especially for water. This advert would not make me want to drink Drench water; however I think they created the advert to appeal to young people and to get a viral following. Shame thunderbirds puppets are as innovative nowadays as sock puppets. Take a look at the video below.

The list – Due to the Sainsbury’s news I am not going to add anything to the list today. Actually I might take them off the list as they have got there comeuppance.

Words of wisdom from Peter Kay-

1. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
2. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

For more please check out the jokes page and have a look…

The weekend is over and the week has begun. I missed posting for the last few days because of work. So I will fill you in on what you have missed – played indoor rugby on Saturday followed by a quick game of thongs cricket. Before you ask what indoor rugby is it’s like regular rugby played with 12 people in a living room. You might say how dangerous it is and what happens to the furniture, nothing happens to the furniture it stays exactly where it is and then becomes obstacles you use to your advantage to jump off to score a try, sadly no goal kicks are aloud. Try getting a few pals together and have a go its bloody good however if your mates are drunk and you have a mixed team it helps to make it a little more fun. Oh and went and saw a really cool gig on Sunday in Camden -video to follow.

Work work work, well officially everyone has moved in to the new office, but alas I still don’t have a desk.

In the news in the last few days – A group of scientists and research staff facing a winter of constant darkness in Antarctica have been sent vital supplies – 16,500 condoms. They will now be experiencing total darkness until August 20 when the first sunrise is due.

This has to be the most random bit of news I have put up The brains of gay men and women look like those found in straight people of the opposite sex, research suggests. Gay men and straight women had halves of a similar size, while the right side was bigger in lesbian women and straight men. A UK scientist said this was evidence sexual preference was set in the womb.

Inexcusable’ petrol prices cut A Devon petrol station which charged £1.99 a litre for petrol has dropped its prices after coming under fire for cashing in on fuel shortages.

The owner of a hair salon has been ordered to pay £4,000 compensation to a Muslim stylist who was turned down for a job because she wears a headscarf. Speaking after the ruling the salon owner said: “I never in a million years dreamt that somebody would be completely against the display of hair and be in this industry. I don’t feel I deserve it.”

The jury have found R. Kelly NOT guilty!! After being acquitted on all 14 counts of child pornography he is officially a free man. According to reports the singer held his attorneys hand and tears rolled down his face as the verdict was read out. 14 counts – all i am saying is the jury must love R&B or have some fetish that they want to hide.

This week grinding my gears is going to be centred on crap adverts. Or adverts that have been created that make no sense or make you actually not want to get the products they are selling even if you would under most circumstances.

1. elephant.co.uk ads. (I actually turn the channel when this one comes on)
2. Confused.com now I know this company has money but who the hell signed off on the adverts, I have never seen adverts so bad in my life I would be ashamed if I was the CEO of confused.com actually I wouldn’t be ashamed, someone would have been sacked before this went to air.

These adverts are so bad I wouldn’t go on there sites let alone buy a product from them. I am still waiting for the day they are both on watchdog with people complaining about there cowboy tactics. Actually I think I should start my own insurance company and call it the cowboy outfit. And have a really cheesy advert and see if I make money…

I couldn’t find any of the TV adverts or i didnt want to waste my time looking so i will put the following up instead:

I am also starting to get a tad fed up of all the cry in the paper about the fuel charges, yeah they have gone up but as I don’t have a car and I am in no rush to get one so I don’t care, so can the newspapers move on and report something else. I am not caring about a lot of things that seems to be affecting people lately, I am wondering why. I know I was smart enough not to put my money in northern rock, I take public transport and when applicable I walk places, I don’t waste money on cheap clothes so I don’t have the guilt of the sweatshops. So my shopping has gone up by 2% a year well that’s fine I will just remove chips and buy potatoes and make my own, home made is so much better, and according to Jamie Oliver I can feed a family for £5. To be honest I am not really feeling the credit crunch. Sorry I am just smart with my money understand that this was coming so planned in advance. To be honest the only thing that the government can do to affect me is start to charge for free things like air and land. If you make me pay to walk and to breath then I am screwed…

Today has been one of those really manic days so I am going to keep this post real short mostly as I am manic and mad busy today. 3 weeks until my deadline, time to step up my game. Oh a quick note I have become the littlest hobo in the office – if you have never watched or can’t remember the show it was about a dog that kept going from town to town looking for its family while helping people out on the way. But it never had one home, just moved one when it was done. My story is no way the same but its close – I have had 3 desks and moving to my 4th desk in 1 week. I will also be saying a sad farewell to aussien (ghost writer/editor)

In the news – Two children in Spain have been admitted to a mental health institution to be treated for addiction to their mobile phones, Spanish media report. They were doing badly at school and lying to relatives in order to get money to spend on their phones. They have been learning to cope without their phones for three months – Do they mean phone addiction or did the reporter mean crack addiction as that what it sound like to me.

Vodka has overtaken Scotch to become Britons’ favourite spirit, new figures show. Analysts say premium vodka brands and strong marketing have won over drinkers as whisky struggled to find new customers.

Super producer Timbaland and his publicist Monique Idlett tied the knot in Virginia on Tuesday.

Chris Brown was on Power 105.1 with Ed Lover this week and spoke briefly on his relationship with Rihanna. The two have been spotted chumming it up left and right in recent months

Grinding my gears – today nothing has annoyed me to write in this section. However the weekend is coming so I am sure iwill have something to add here. Not sure if the lack of meat in my system due to this meat fast I am on counts as a grinding my gears rant.

The list – its Friday so I am going to be nice and not add anything to the list.

Was digging through the CD and heard a old school tune, this is one of my favourite songs, Beanie Sigel– feel it in the air. I have incuded the video below:

Just heard this song and watched the video from NAS, take a look and let me know what you think…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHdG3cFPtrU

No beer fridge at work today so every one is pissed please see the email string sent around, please note my office is in the Truman brewery:

1. The beer fridge is open now and is by the terrace area (second floor).

2. It’s open, but unfortunately it’s also empty…

3. Exactly, a couple of crates of beer isn’t exactly gonna go round everyone!
Or are we sharing bottles now? Anyone wanna go stand outside I’ll get a bottle of white lightning, we can share a cigarette I nicked of my older brother too.

4. Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery!